Eyes Closed, Yet Open…
When I close my eyes, I see you, as if they are open.
When I awaken, you are the first thought on my mind,
even through the night, as I awaken, I think of you.
I shake my head, with my eyes yet closed because it
seems surreal. I hear your voice in my psyche as if you are here.
I see you in my mind’s eyes, as you were, as you became,
and as you were in the end.
All of the visions bring a smile with tears. As I said goodbye to
you, after your transition, I smiled when I first saw you.
I smiled because I love you so much. I smiled because God has
been so good. I smiled because I know how much you loved me.
I smiled because you are now at peace.
My heart is in pieces, as if it truly hurts from grief.
Tears come so frequently. I just let them flow.
I visit your sepulcher often because it calms me.
It still feels weird. It is as if I am waiting for my eyes to
really open up and I learn it was a dream and I can talk to
you again. I can make you laugh. You can make me laugh.
You will be here. Yet, every morning when I awaken, it hurts
that it isn’t a dream and you are not here in the flesh.
I am comforted by knowing you are at peace.
Yet I am trying to cope with the pain. I miss you.
I love you. I will keep my eyes open, all the way
so I can focus on how you impacted so many.
I will focus on the bond we had. I will focus on how
you were always there. I will focus on how you loved me
despite. Even when I was wrong, you loved me. Even when I told
you of wrongs, you loved me. You never judged me. You never neglected
me. You were like my other mother.
You are at peace. As I came from seeing you after the transition,
a single dove sat on the bricks near a window at my house. Just one dove,
a gray dove was there. Doves are synonymous to peace.
It was a sign that you are at peace. White is a symbol of peacefulness.
The white owls in the tree near your resting place are symbols of peace.
As I drove up late one evening, one owl left. One remained in the tree.
I shall keep my eyes open. It doesn’t matter if they are closed, yet open
or open, yet closed. You are still in my heart. You always will be. I love you to
Candace L. Gillespie, ©2013