Never knew I’d regain consciousness after being in an emotional coma over loving you. As the air was pumped into my lungs, all I could see was you, in the corners of my mind, in my deep unconscious thoughts. Silently I said to myself that I would never love again. I vowed I would never let you near this heart of mine. I would not even let you stand close enough to gaze into these eyes of mine. Once I began to breathe on my own again, I realized I did not need you. You were not my source. You were not the reason I was kept. Yet you are the reason I died a thousand and one emotional deaths. You are the reason I found out who I truly am…my worth…my secrets, the ones that lie deep in the confounds of my heart, my soul, making me who I am today.
I found why it is I do the things I do and seek the things I seek and find the great things I find. I have found myself. I searched my soul…soul searching, level one. I know that I love myself too much to be what it is others think I should be or to care, about petty things or what it is others think of me. The ones that are in my corner, demonstrate it to me, time and time again. For with them, no suspicions exists. There are no questions of loyalty. There are no feelings of discomfort, only happiness. I am done with the attempts to remain when my gut says ‘look over, beyond and keep it moving’. It is time to keep breathing without assistance and to keep doing what is best for me and mine….SOUL SEARCHING LEVEL ONE!